O, test prep, make me smart.

Okay, I've got do some studying for this test-prep teaching. Oh its so boring, though! Oh I don't want to teach test prep, but I need some money! Its one of these big test-prep companies (shall remain nameless) and some of the stuff in the teacher manual is so stupid! It talks about the test prep class being "a delight" for the students. Ummm. Test prep? Delightful? Oh, I can't read anymore of it. Ugh!

Its just a degree!

I feel like I don't really have much to blog about since I've sort of made peace w/ quitting grad school. Well, mostly I'm at peace. I sometimes still feel this stab in my chest. Like when I meet someone and find out that they have a PhD and then I feel this stab in my chest, like I'm inferior and I always will be, like I'm just not as important. I know that's all a load of crap, in my head I know that, but in my soul I still feel it. I know I'm not inferior because I don't have a doctorate, but this plan of having a PhD has been with me for so long. I can't even remember when I made these plans but it was the begining of college, at least. I guess I've made this degree a such a part of who I am that giving it up feels like giving up part of me. Which is totally insane, I realize that. Its just a degree. Its just a degree! I don't want all those PhD's to think less of me because I don't have one too. I think part of this is that I'm too worried about what others will think about me but the other part is that I think I'm inferior for not having a doctorate. I really need to get over both so I can truly feel at peace.